I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Friday, December 20, 2002
I remember, with painfulness even now, that I conceived a sudden and absurd antipathy to Brian Seeman one day, or one week. I recognize it now -- I recognized it then -- as having some masochist component. I cherished the antipathy. What I remember wincing is the day that I saw him walking home from school in front of me, and I felt that I would just punch him in the back. So I did. He was surprised and hurt. Whatever impulse this answered to in me, I think that took care of it. I seem to recall that there was parental discussion about this, and that I apologized -- actually apologized sincerely. But I never owned up to why I punched him -- that is, for no rational reason -- but came up with some paltry dodge, for which I could apologize. I think we stayed friends after that. It was ultimately a big deal only for me.


posted by william 3:43 PM
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